.HELLO!

GOODBYE BLOGSPOT!

GOODBYE!

everyone say hello to....

THIS

farewell to all these posting problems!hohoho

•iloveyou }.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008

There are many many many parts to life right? (relationships, personal character, work, ministry, soul ect ect) How many of these parts have you surrendered to Jesus?

Today i kinda realised that we need to kill ourselves daily.

Of course, everyone of us feel what we have to feel and will do what we have to do. You know like, feel jealous when somebody takes something away from you? or pass a comment on somebody, just because you didnt like his/her dressing. whatever that might be, i guess its only natural for us to feel a certain way or do certain things that are not godly.

theres no wrong in doing it, its only human nature.

However, if you love God and want Him to work in your life, i suppose we all have to take up that pistol/dagger (choice of weapon is yours) and shoot/stab that part of you dead.

The reason why you do that is because that old nature of yours is filthy and smeeeelley, if only you could see how much it is.

Recently, i've uncovered one of these filthy parts i have, and im pretty determined to commit suicide on that. The only thing is, if you know anything about suicides, one does not succeed at first attempt. Therefore, i have resulted to cutting parts off instead of the preferred way of shooting it dead once and for all. i know, strong and courageous i may seem, i do not dare/cant bare to let go of my junk. even if its decomposing, maggot infested junk.

Its mind-boggling that we love to keep rubbish. Whats the motivation behind that really? is it comfort? familiarity? nostaligia? i have not the faintest idea. Being human, i admit, i love to keep my junk, even if it's rotting. But my Jesus doesnt like junk. i'll just have to bring in the garbage man.

give us clean hands, give us pure hearts.

•iloveyou }.
Monday, January 21, 2008

i'm keeping a diary. a small little one which i write my schedule in and my thoughts and feelings of the day. its a good thing i suppose. You know how some famous people keep diaries and they are so interesting because they reveal facts that nobody knows until those entries are read after that particular person dies.

haha..not that im becoming famous, its just that i thought it'll be good that 30 years down the road, i'd be able to see how much i have grown and laugh at my own youth. Or maybe after i have pass on, people will finally get to know how much i love them and what exactly is on my mind, just that i wasnt able to put across to the rest of the human world verbally.

oh wells, just like nobody knew how Jews actually lived during the Holocaust until Anne Frank came about.

I suppose what happened at Babel wasnt a coincidence. God's way of confusing us resulted in the invention of the world's most amazing, wonderful and beautiful thing - language. I wonder how come God's "punishment" would even end up beautiful. maybe God did Babel on purpose, He wanted the later generations to use their unique culture and sounds to honour Him with what He has given us. Perhaps what our forefathers did was a chess piece in history, so as to provide us with this awesome thing called language.

ok..i will not ramble on. You guys are bored already. haha. i just think theres so much goodness is what we use everyday to bond, to survive, to love, to think, to respond...its amazing.

nvm if you dont understand the post. hahahaha.

•iloveyou }.
Monday, January 14, 2008

You know how growing is like a snake changing its skin?

You're outgrowing the old skin, it gets terribly uncomfortable, then you start struggling to get the old skin off. The process gets so tough you feel like you should just remain small and keep the old skin, save the trouble of changing a new one. So you struggle and struggle, because each day you get bigger, and the old skin dont fit you anymore. Finally, you're out of it, and you see how disgusting your old skin actually is.

okay, i have no idea why i wrote that, but its just a thought that has been bugging me for the past few days. ahh..its just growing pains that everyone has to go through i suppose.

we dont get to the end if theres no process. grow out of it.

•iloveyou }.
Saturday, January 12, 2008

i just realised something. very important.

as im typing this you're probably on the plane somewhere or have already arrived.

i just wanna say,

JULIANNE! I'LL MISS YOU!

stay safe over there and enjoy yourself as much as possible before you return and tell us all your stories. when you come back maybe we'll go for one of our bintan trips again! haha.

take care girl!

see you in 6 mths!

•iloveyou }.
Friday, January 04, 2008

first post of the new year. 3 days late i know.

because life haven't been treating me too well for the past 2 weeks or so ever since Audacious! camp ended.

1. i fell sick. really really sick.

i got sick from the day i returned home from camp until today i just recovered. Praise the Lord. I'm usually healthy and illnesses don't last for more than 2 days, no idea what happened this time. and i swear i thought the Lord was gonna bring me home last night. my dad lifted up my arm and said to my mom:"look at her, so skinny, what if she dies?" and my poor mother began to cry. *(&#@&@()

and yes, i was in so much pain i really thought i saw angels singing over my bed. Thank goodness i got much better today, and i stood on the weighing scale expecting myself to lose only a few kg. apparently its not just a few, i wont tell you my weight now cause it'll freak all of you out. no joke. i stood on the scale with my mouth opened for 5 mins, amazed at the amount of weight i lost. sigh.

now i know what it means to take good care of your body.

on a happier note, dinner today was the only meal i finished in 2 weeks. congrats congrats. now to gaining some weight back.

2. emo issues.

of which i wont mention much, but I'll just say I'm really heartbroken. really really heartbroken.

I'm sure I'll get back on my feet again. life's too short for me to mope around.

3. stress.

this is one factor that shorten one's life span. project deadlines in approximately 2 weeks. going into a new school, enlarging myself, ministry. Lord, i really dunno how I'm gonna do it. because i really cant. its all up to You.

4. fear.

i am scared. damn scared. of what i have no idea. just very afraid of what this new year has to bring. i hope 2008 treats me well, even though the year did not start on a good note at all.

i have never felt so overwhelmed in my entire life before.

•iloveyou }.
Thursday, January 03, 2008

RANDOM THOUGHTS OF LATE:

1. emotions and feelings, these are weird things.

2. if only humans werent social animals, life would be much easier.

3. but then again, relationships are the best thing you can ever get out of life.

4. what does it take Lord, for me to come up higher?

5. its the end of 2007.

6. beginning of 08.

7. yet another time to take stock of this soul.

8. i say bring it on.

•iloveyou }.
Monday, December 31, 2007